"And heaven kisses earth with a wet, sloppy kiss..."
I had kind of been secretly wishing that he would call me up there, I really wanted this experience. So after the initial “What was I thinking?” thought passed, I was trying to scrap together a quick, yet complete minute speech on what I was passionate most about: acting. To be completely honest, I wasn't really sure where I was going with my impromptu speech lol. I mentioned how I've loved performing and entertaining people as a kid and how I like how, when I'm playing a character, that God will sometimes bring out traits that my character and I share. Traits that are great and traits that aren't so great. I finished up right as my 60 seconds were depleted and, just as before, the class gave feed back. I sit down, trying to keep anyone from noticing my shortness of breath or quivering hands. The class, once again, evaluates the body language of the performer.
Forgive me if I've bored you, but I'm just getting to the good part.
Jason calls Becca back up to the front of the class once again. Not really sure what's happening, she heads back up, but with a little more confidence in herself this time. He asks her to place her hand on her chest, then shows his hand to the class, similar to a magician would before a trick. Placing his palm on top of her hand, he tells her to breath deep. (kind of reminds me of a chiropractor lol) As she exhales, he pushes down and kind of wiggles his palm, pushing all of the breath out of her windpipe. “Most of the time we breath with our windpipe,” he explains, “when we really should be using our diaphragm instead. The diaphragm is the center of our breathing cycle. It's the energy for the machine.” Mr. Jason repeats this exercise a few more times. In a deep, relaxing and quiet tone, Jason speaks again. We all strain in to hear what he's saying, not wanting to miss out.
"...my heart is beating violently inside of my chest..."
“Alright. Close your eyes. Keep breathing from your diaphragm, let it connect you to your entire body. Now I want you to think about what you're passionate about. Think hard. Why are you passionate about it? How does it move you?”
Becca is quiet for a few seconds, then a smile slowly creeps its way onto her face.
“That's it. That's what stirs you. Now, I want you to whisper to us what your passion is.”
With her eyes still shut, Becca begins to tell us about why she's in love with reading. How she loves the way a story can take us on a journey through the author's imagination with twists and turns, taking us to faraway places, or deeper knowledge of ourselves.
I lean even more forward in my chair, entranced and nearly falling out. I can hear the passion literally dripping off her voice. I resist the urge to run out to the hallway and grab a mop. Jason stops her and tells her to open her eyes and say it out loud. The entire class is so silent, I'm not sure if everyone was remembering to breathe. Becca slowly opens her blue eyes, brighter than the Caribbean ocean on a sunny day. All the way in the back of the room, I can see the electricity buzzing behind her pupils, waiting, wanting to be unleashed. She starts speaking, her voice calm, even, and emotional. Her speech is purposeful, every word carefully selected. She makes eye contact with every one in the classroom, all of us hanging on each word. The difference between the first Becca and the second is night and day. By the time she finishes, I can't speak; I don't want to, I want her to keep going lol. She walks back, head held high, and sits down beside me. I just look at her in amazement. “Wow” I mouth to her. She grins and mouths “Yeah” back.
"...And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me..."
Next up is the new and improved Kim! xD Once again, Jason goes through the same exercises and routines, forcing Kim to relax and breathe from her diaphragm. This time, we all watch with grins and anticipation, knowing the change that is about to take place. She starts her whispered passion for gardening, similar to before. Jason, in his deep voice, stops her and forces her to think. "Why? Why does gardening mean so much to you? It's deeper than this, I can feel it." Her brows come together for a few seconds, then separates as her entire expression changes. "There," Jason says. "That's it. Don't let it filter through your mind, just say what your heart is saying." Kim's lips begin to quiver as a small tear escapes out of the corner of her eye. "Don't hold back," He purrs, "Let your heart flow." I'm guessing the tear ducts are tied fairly close to the heart because the heart wasn't the only thing flowin.
Through the soft sobs, Kim tried to speak. "Sometimes I feel like the plants that have withered away. I want to try to help them become beautiful again. I want to feel beautiful to God, I want him to enjoy looking at me..."
Jason nods. "That's it. Right there." He motions for her to take her seat as he continues. "And you know, that's ok. What happened right there. That wasn't acting, that was transparency. It's ok to want God to look on you with favor. And He does. He loves each one of his children and loves just leaning in to smell the sweet perfume of our praise." I wipe the tears off my arm from where I had, unknowingly, been crying along with Kim, sharing her desire for the Father's approval.
"Oh... how he loves us, oh..."
He turns to me. Oh no I think. My turn I suppose. As calmly as I can possibly muster, I head to the front of the room. I get there, but instead of starting his breathing exercises again, Jason tells me to kick off my flip-flops and jog around the hotel hallway for a few laps. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. I kinda gave him a dumb look, then started off. If this was the only chance to ever learn from him, I wasn't gonna blow it with my fear of looking like an idiot (haha :p)
By now I must have jogged/ran (as much as you possibly can in a hotel :p) 8 laps. He stops me at the front of the class again, my heartbeat up and my breathing heavy.
"Now," he says, "we can begin."
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